Friday, January 17, 2014

I Am Not My Father (But I Am My Father's Daughter)

This "poem" isn't about my own father. 

I am my father’s daughter
So I know his favorite song
Used to sing it as a lullaby when dark dreams came along

I am my father’s daughter
So we laugh in the same way
A grumbly little chuckle when I would ask to play

I am my father’s daughter
So we still share the same nose
We live together in this house that’s not a home

I know that he likes ice cream
And he knows that I like coke
And when we talk together now
I want to grab him by the throat and scream
But it’s easy
So much easier to walk through this world numb
To say “I love you Daddy” when we talk on the phone
And to murmur sympathetically when I know he’s wrong.

I am not my father
But I am my father’s daughter
And you are taking me for granted
Because I’m a Daddy’s girl
Safe sheltered and protected from the troubles of this world
I walk dream bridges made of stardust
With my head up in the clouds
And when Daddy asks me what I want from life
He sports a tiny frown

Father is a tidy man
Places his dreams on the curb
He walks away and leaves them to a fate they didn’t earn
He just wants what’s best for me
A real supporting role
And he’ll help me take the first steps
But he isn’t ever home

No I am NOT my father
I will NEVER be that way
So quick to say “I love you” and to cause all sorts of pain
Because only heads of households
Who can’t see past their nose
Could be so blind to all the hurt and grief they’ve raised and sown

I am not my father
But I am my father’s daughter
Whereas Daddy holds a bitter bitter
Hollow in his chest
I’m a sweet tooth, I digress
And instead of toiling to ferment
Sorrows from the past
I’d rather dream…
And whisper sugar coated lies
Behind this mask

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